Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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punchline below punchline above

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops