Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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I Have a Black Friend

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops