What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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