Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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poop.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops