whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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42

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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Bob Saget that is all

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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