What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Why? Why not?

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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sure!

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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boo

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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