Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

My cat just died.

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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