I have a dirty joke. Poop.

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

This isn't funny.

Poker face

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

what is orange and blue 2 colors

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...