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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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