Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops