Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

thumb_up thumb_down -26

MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops