The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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you...

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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