Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

thumb_up thumb_down -39

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops