Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops