Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops