a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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