Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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