Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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penis

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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