what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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