What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

You having friends.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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