Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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