roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops