autsim

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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bangers and mash?

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops