Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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