A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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