How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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