Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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