how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

boobs!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops