how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Women's rights

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Keanu Reaves

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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You know whats funny Aids

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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