What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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your mom died.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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kennah campion... being nice

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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