What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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K

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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so the weather's nice...

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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