Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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