Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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