Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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What's your guys names?

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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