Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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