What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

Will nearis is here! Get it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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