why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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more like nig!

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops