what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops