A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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30cm = 0,3meters

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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whats 7+4? 74

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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this is stupid .... yep

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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