Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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