what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What? Huh?

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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