why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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What? Huh?

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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