What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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