Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Women's Rights

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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nickel back

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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