a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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what is very tall and red a very tall red building

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops