my egg roll

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Jack Stevens

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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