What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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CRY

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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