What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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hard cheese

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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