2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Cancer.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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"Knock knock." "No."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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