guest what i love pancakes

Ben Corbishley

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

i read the terms of service when i posted this

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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