What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Continents are large islands.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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rocky is here again.......................

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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